Umm

A pig smiled at me.

14 Responses to “Umm”


  1. 1 forgo

    Just an additional note. It farted while smiling. Very strange.

  2. 2 wojo

    How would I go about getting a pig to smile at me?

  3. 3 forgo

    The first thing you need to do is be nice to it. It won’t want to smile at you if you’re smacking it around.

  4. 4 wojo

    I need to find a pig first!  Tell me more!

  5. 5 forgo

    Okay, pigs can be commonly found on farms or in the woods behind my house or in my bathroom. Go look now!

  6. 6 wojo

    Wait, what do pigs look like?

  7. 7 forgo

    They’re fat, pink, and covered in crap. When you catch one, try to straighten his tail. Pull really hard on it. If you get it to stay straight, then you know you’ve found a winner.

  8. 8 forgo

    Find one yet?

  9. 9 wojo

    Not yet.  So, when I find one, and it refuses to smile at me (as most things do), how can I force it to smile at me?

    I was thinking about either torturing it or showing it funny videos to make it laugh and smile.  Not sure which method I’ll use, do you have a better idea?

  10. 10 forgo

    Well, you don’t want to force it. You want to coerce it. I’ve found the best way to do this is by giving it candy or other assorted treats.

  11. 11 forgo

    Where’s my pig??

  12. 12 wojo

    Will truffles work?  I have a lot of those.

  13. 13 forgo

    They may work. It’s hard to tell. How old are the truffles?

  14. 14 wojo

    About 26 years old.  Is that okay?

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