This evening I hit a deer. Well, I suppose “hit” doesn’t describe it fully. Hell, I’m bored, so I’ll give you a quick timeline of the events:
18:05:18 – I’m driving down the road and see a herd of deer running across the street, one of which has already crossed the road not too far in front of my Jeep.18:05:19 – After the initial three tenths of a second where I thought to myself, “Oooh, deer! Nature is cool!”, I decided to slam on my brakes. Of course that was pretty much futile on the snow packed dirt roads around my house.
18:05:22 – Impact! Head hit nearly smack in the center of the Jeep grille. Slight bump felt in the front of the car.
18:05:24 – Profuse screaming and cussing directed at the deer, heard by a friend I was talking to on my cell phone. (no, that didn’t affect my reaction time! — ed) I continue to drive down the road.
18:05:28 – Odd noise emitted from the underbody of the car. Hmm, shit, did I blow a tire? Maybe the deer really messed up my car. Gah!
18:05:32 – Noise heard again.
18:05:36 – And again… but this time the friend on the phone heard it too. This happens a few more times, and I can’t figure out exactly what it is.
18:05:42 – Eureka! I realize the fucking deer is still under my Jeep, moaning in what I assume is pure and utter agony. Holy crap! Uhm… uhm… can’t pull him out if I stopped the car. I proceed to slow down and move the car around on the road trying to dislodge him.
18:05:48 – Attempts at dislodging the deer have failed. I took a hard cut using a large driveway as headroom. Felt a bump in the rear of the Jeep. Glanced into my rear view mirror and saw a deer get up and run away. Looked like one of his legs was mauled up pretty bad. I couldn’t see if it was a buck or doe.
18:05:50 – I stop the car to inspect the damage, which turned out to be some blood, hair, a bent quarter panel, headlight and a cracked front grille. Decided to wait until daylight to inspect the rest…
18:06:12 – Continuing to talk to my friend. Mentioned how I can smell, and I think taste the blood in the air. Perhaps the smell was sucked in from the air intake on the car? Ick.
Well, that’s pretty much it I guess. Poor deer… I don’t wish that kind of death upon any animal.
