Deer Hunter

This evening I hit a deer. Well, I suppose “hit” doesn’t describe it fully. Hell, Iím bored, so Iíll give you a quick timeline of the events:

18:05:18 – I’m driving down the road and see a herd of deer running across the street, one of which has already crossed the road not too far in front of my Jeep.

18:05:19 – After the initial three tenths of a second where I thought to myself, ďOooh, deer! Nature is cool!Ē, I decided to slam on my brakes. Of course that was pretty much futile on the snow packed dirt roads around my house.

18:05:22 – Impact! Head hit nearly smack in the center of the Jeep grille. Slight bump felt in the front of the car.

18:05:24 – Profuse screaming and cussing directed at the deer, heard by a friend I was talking to on my cell phone. (no, that didnít affect my reaction time! — ed) I continue to drive down the road.

18:05:28 – Odd noise emitted from the underbody of the car. Hmm, shit, did I blow a tire? Maybe the deer really messed up my car. Gah!

18:05:32 – Noise heard again.

18:05:36 – And again… but this time the friend on the phone heard it too. This happens a few more times, and I canít figure out exactly what it is.

18:05:42 – Eureka! I realize the fucking deer is still under my Jeep, moaning in what I assume is pure and utter agony. Holy crap! UhmÖ uhmÖ canít pull him out if I stopped the car. I proceed to slow down and move the car around on the road trying to dislodge him.

18:05:48 – Attempts at dislodging the deer have failed. I took a hard cut using a large driveway as headroom. Felt a bump in the rear of the Jeep. Glanced into my rear view mirror and saw a deer get up and run away. Looked like one of his legs was mauled up pretty bad. I couldnít see if it was a buck or doe.

18:05:50 – I stop the car to inspect the damage, which turned out to be some blood, hair, a bent quarter panel, headlight and a cracked front grille. Decided to wait until daylight to inspect the rest…

18:06:12 – Continuing to talk to my friend. Mentioned how I can smell, and I think taste the blood in the air. Perhaps the smell was sucked in from the air intake on the car? Ick.

Well, thatís pretty much it I guess. Poor deer… I donít wish that kind of death upon any animal.

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